Uganda participates in many trade agreements. These include the East African Community, Common Market for Eastern and Southern Africa, African Continental Free Trade Area, World Trade Organization, and more. These agreements are designed to break barriers and make trade flow freely. Yet even with these agreements, countries often impose tariffs, extra costs that end up discouraging the very trade they hoped to encourage.

Relationships are no different. Many of us make vows of unconditional love, but along the way we set up emotional tariffs, hidden costs that make it harder for our spouse to access love and connection.

These tariffs might look like:

1. Withholding affection until certain conditions are met
2. Using silence as punishment rather than healing
3. Constantly raising the “price” for reconciliation

And then there are non-tariff barriers; these aren’t easy to name, but they quietly block trade. Recently, the traders in Uganda cried out to the government. They wanted the government to engage with a trading partner state to remove the non-tariff barriers on particular manufactured goods. The ripple effects of these barriers were felt by the consumer. The price in the neighboring country accelerated. Families were equally affected. In the love world, these non-tariff barriers block intimacy and trust. They are invisible but powerful obstacles like unresolved conflicts, unspoken resentments, or emotional walls. The result is Friction, distance, and isolation.

But God’s design for love is different. “Love is patient, love is kind… it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5). Just as open trade creates growth, love without condition creates flourishing relationships.

So how do we remove emotional tariffs and open the gates for love to flow?

1. Examine your heart: Am I giving love freely, or am I making my spouse pay for it?
2. Replace silence with honesty: Instead of shutting down, pour out your heart, not in anger but in love.
3. Don’t keep raising the “cost” of reconciliation. Forgiveness resets the ledger.
4. Identify hidden walls. Are you protecting yourself out of pride, fear, or past hurt? Naming the barrier is the first step to removing it.
5. Love thrives when it’s given generously, not when it’s rationed.

Imagine your marriage as a trade corridor. Are the gates open for love to move freely? Or are you silently imposing tariffs making your partner pay before they can access your affection? What are you hiding behind those walls, and what would happen if you dismantled them?

Remember, vows are like trade agreements, they’re meant to strengthen connection, not strangle it with conditions. When you tear down emotional tariffs and barriers, you make room for trust, intimacy, and joy to overflow.

Just as Christ broke down the greatest barrier between us and God, He calls us to do the same with each other: to love without condition, to forgive without limit, and to keep the corridor of love wide open. Will you resolve to do that today?

A heartbeat in every policy

Elizabeth R.A. Kiguli